


Wherever You Go, I Go

by ardentmuse



Series: Sirius Black Imagines [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Animagus, Animal Transformation, Dating, F/M, Fluff, Hogwarts, Kissing, Love, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Young James Potter, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 11:11:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17897336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentmuse/pseuds/ardentmuse
Summary: A note from your mother forces you to blow up at your boyfriend Sirius. Still determined to support you, Sirius enlists the help of his furrier side.





	Wherever You Go, I Go

This week had been the worst. You hadn’t done nearly as well on your last potions assignment as you had hoped and Professor Slughorn was always so smug when you fell behind in any way. Your best friend was avoiding you because of a slight disagreement over the cleanliness of your shared dormitory. You had the worst cramps you’d ever experienced thanks to your boyfriend Sirius dragging you all over Hogsmeade so he could find the perfect gift to thank the Potters for hosting him during the summer since his parents kicked him out.

And to add to all of that, word had gotten around to the pureblood families about the latest row at the Blacks. Your mother had sent you a note with an ultimatum: break up with that blood-traitor boyfriend of yours or don’t bother coming home. She already had a Yaxley lined up to court you upon your return to the estate this summer.

You were a wreck. You loved your mother but never agreed with her view of the world. And at this point, with tensions building each and every day, the pure blood families growing more suspicious and angry at the threats to their way of life, you’d rather leave now than have to pick a side later on. Now would be easier, and much less dangerous.

But you had no idea what to say to Sirius. How do you tell your boyfriend of just over a year that you want to choose him over your family? How do you tell the man who once told you he’d never want to settle down and marry that you want to follow him wherever this crazy life might take you? Would he tell you no? Would he leave you behind for his own adventures? Would he laugh at you for thinking what you had mattered that much to him? Would he tell you that every “I love you” only meant he loved you now, not that he’d love you forever?

You sat in the Great Hall barely picking at your food, pushing potatoes side to side as you read over the letter for the thirtieth time since dinner started. You were trying your best to eat but you just could not. That coupled with the puffy eyes and the absence of anyone sitting near you made it clear that you were having a particularly bad day.

James flung himself on to the bench beside Remus, sweaty and dirt-covered from quidditch practice. He looked across the table where Sirius sat tapping out a tune on the wood while taking measured spoonfuls of his soup.

“What’s wrong with Y/N?” James asked, staring at you where you sat away from your boyfriend.

“Dunno,” Sirius said between bites, “I haven’t seen her since herbology. She should be here soon.”

“Mate, she’s been here for about an hour,” Remus noted as though Sirius were thick.

Sirius dropped his spoon into his bowl with a big splash, forcing Peter to jump to the side to not get soaked himself. “She’s here? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Remus just shrugged. “She looks like she wants to be left alone.” 

Sirius spun around to look at you, your head down and movements slow. You were still the most beautiful thing in the room, even if you looked a wreck. Sirius immediately stood to approach you.

He heard James call behind him, “Maybe give her some space, mate?” By now James knew you were not one to shy away from your boyfriend. You two oozed affection, care apparent in every touch you exchanged. Both of you were so damn in love it made the marauders sick just watching you. If you weren’t skipping up to plant a kiss on your boyfriend’s cheek, there was a reason.

“Bullshit,” Sirius said, “I miss her.” And within a moment he was beside you.

“Hey there, little lady,” he said, smooth and deep, before sidling up beside you.

“Hi,” was all you could manage, not even turning your eyes up to him.

Sirius frowned at your clear sadness. “Doll, what’s that your holding?” he asked, referring to the tear-stained letter you still clutched in your hands.

As though shocked into action, you quickly crumpled up the letter and pocketed it. “Nothing,” you stammered, “Don’t worry about it.” You wiped the tears from under your eyes and smiled as best you could at him.

His heart broke looking at his girl, usually so happy and carefree, now sad and nervous. “Y/N, what’s going on?” he asked, reaching out for your hands, “Please talk to me.”

You couldn’t stop your body from backing away. “Please don’t,” you whispered, tears beginning to take hold of you again.

“Sweetheart, come here,” he said, desperate to pull you to him, to hold you and make all the pain go away. He had no idea what was wrong, but he was determined to find a speedy solution.

All you could do was shake your head, silently begging him to leave you alone, so scared to allow him to comfort you when you were sure he wouldn’t handle the source of your tears well. You needed time to figure out what to say to him.

Sirius paused at your movements, but after a second, decided he needed to let you know he was there for you. He settled with placing a hand on your thigh and squeezing lightly.

You accepted the contact at first, which he took as a good sign. When he scooted closer and reached for your shoulder, you caught yourself. You shot up and shouted, “I said don’t, Sirius,” through tears that were now obscuring your vision and hindering your breathing.

Sirius stared at you from where he sat, jaw slack with shock and corcern.

Seeing how you had hurt him only made it worse. You turned and ran out of the Great Hall as quickly as you could.

Shaken, Sirius stood and walked back towards his friends.

Once within range, James shouted towards him, “Nice one, Padfoot.”

“Shove it, James,” Sirius spit under this breath, dropping down onto this seat and pushing his now cold bowl of soup into the middle of the table.

“Did little Padfoot piss off his lady?” James continued to tease, earning him a glare from the sullen boy.

“James, really,” Remus whispered, staring intently at Sirius, who sunk into his seat even more, clearly shaken.

James cleared his throat, “Sorry, Pads, I guess that was insensitive.”

After a moment, Sirius lifted his head, as though a light went off somewhere in his brain. “No, it’s alright,” he said, standing to leave the table rather abruptly, “I have to go. James, give me the map.”

“What?” James responded.

“Give me the map,” he said, reaching a hand over the table, determination now reading on his face. “Please.”

“Peter’s got it,” James said, nodding to the mousy boy currently stuffing his face with bread.

With a sigh, Peter reached into his pocket and handed over the map. Without pause, Sirius leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, causing the entire table to laugh and Peter to shrink away with embarrassment. Like a flash, Sirius was out of the hall.

He found you on the map under a tree by the Black Lake, a favorite spot for the two of you to spend a lazy Saturday. It was already quite dark, so Sirius didn’t have to venture too far into the woods to shift into his dog form before slowly making the way towards where you sat. Even from yards off, he could hear your tears.

Sirius understood what you said, that you wanted to be left alone. But if he could provide you any ounce of comfort, he was going to do it. And if it helped him figure out what was going on, even better.

The boys had decided not to tell you about their animagi because Sirius had insisted in you being left out of anything criminal they did. You had heard the nicknames and were aware that they disappeared with Lupin once a month, but you didn’t connect the dots. Or if you did, you didn’t make it known to them. While keeping such a secret was helping him at the moment, he was slowly coming to realize he didn’t want any secrets between the two of you. He wanted to be your everything and knowing that there was something on your mind that you were not willing to share with him was damn near killing him at the moment.

When the large black dog came into your view, you startled, wiping your eyes and jumping away. Sirius did the best he could to lower his head like a submissive puppy and approach with cautious step.

It seemed to work as you uttered, “Oh, a dog,” before holding out your hand tentatively for him to sniff.

He sniffed obediently, noting how much stronger the smell of lavender and coconut that he had come to know so well as yours was when he was transformed. It was intoxicating. He nuzzled his head into your palm a few times to confirm the friendship before dancing in circles around you, urging you to return to sitting.

You sat and sunk your head against the tree, your robes billowing out around you like a blanket. Sirius nestled himself down beside you, laying his big head in your lap and his paw on your thigh. You cooed at the dog, your soft nurturing side shining through. Sirius was fascinated to see so many of the qualities he loved in your come out even when you believed he wasn’t present.

After a few moments you began crying again, pulling back out the letter from your pocket, now wrinkled and worn. Sirius tried to get a view from where he sat, but couldn’t make out anything other than the signature of your mother. He knew immediately it couldn’t be good.

“You know, dog, you’re lucky,” you began softly, running your hands through his thick fur. “You don’t have to deal with family or politics or stupid traditions. You get to just be.”

Sirius licked at your hand. You giggled a little, a good sign.

“You want me to tell you more, huh?” you asked the dog. “Look at me, talking to a dog. I must really be losing it.”

Sirius grew concerned. So he did the only thing he could think of; he yelped.

“Ok, ok,” you said, continuing your gentle strokes of his long black coat, “I’ll tell you.” And so you told the dog everything, about your parents, about your desire to leave your family behind, and about how much you loved Sirius and wanted to build a life with him, and most importantly about how scared you were he wouldn’t want the same.

“Can I even be sure he really loves me?” you asked the dog who was staring up at you with wide eyes. “He isn’t one for commitment. I thought I’d be okay with that, if he decided some day that his fun was over and he wanted to move on. But I’ve fallen too far now. And with my family… He’s the only future I imagine. And what if I’m not his.”

Sirius was completely broken by your words, both by the heartlessness of your family, but also by the fact that he’d somehow left room for you to doubt. When he thought about it, he understood why you’d feel that way, but it was never his intention. All that talk of living free, of taking his motorcycle and never looking back, had turned to salt on his tongue once he’d fallen for you. He still wanted to run and explore but only if you were right there beside him.

You bent down to nuzzle into the large dog’s fur, laying on him like a large pillow. Sirius revelled in the feel of you, enjoying the closeness he’d missed all day. As if to answer all of your earlier questions, he lifted his snout and peppered your face with licks before settling back down to allow you to rest.

Sleep overcame you quickly, exhausted from all the emotions and comforted by the warmth of the lovely affectionate dog that had somehow found his way to you. It was the first bit of peace you’d had since that letter arrived.

Sirius stayed still for about a half an hour before rolling you off him gently. He had to get you back to the castle as it was nearing midnight and cold was truly settling in. He also knew he had some things to say to you that couldn’t wait until morning.

Once free, he stepped into the darkness to transform before coming again as human to your side, lighting the tip of his wand and gently shaking you awake.

“Sirius,” you said as you flicked your eyes open, “Why are you here?”

“I was worried about my girl,” Sirius said, gently caressing your cheek.

“Hmm,” you uttered, “Did you see a dog here when you came down?”

Sirius started to smile but hid it quickly, “Yeah, I guess I scared it off.”

You simply sighed and made to stand. Sirius instinctively reached around your waist, helping you to your feet. Once stable, he pulled you into his chest.

“Darling, you know I love you, right?” he whispered in your ear as he snuggled you close.

“Yes, I know.”

“And you’re it for me. No one else. Wherever you go, I go, right?”

“Sirius, what is this about?” you asked into his chest.

“It’s just been a long couple hours without you, dear. I love you, not matter what. I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide from me. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, finishing his speech with firm kiss to your forehead.

You took a deep breath, sighed, and looked up at the soft grey eyes staring down at you. “I love you, too,” you said, bending upward to peck your boyfriend on the lips. “No matter what.”

Sirius smiled at the relief that was clear on your face. He held you a little longer before pulling you into his robes and escorting you back to the castle.

**Author's Note:**

> https://ardentmuse.tumblr.com/post/173949026241/wherever-you-go-i-go-sirius-black-x-reader


End file.
